this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We left an ass print on the piano.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
