I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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