then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize