I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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