i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize