Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
