Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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