i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize