I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
