When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Drake has all the answers
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize