operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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