I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
bring money and cleavage
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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