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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?

  (1-502): View more from Kentucky

  Welcome to every minute of my life.

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• (852): View more from

  i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Stay away from his face.

  (852): View more from

  so i go for his dick?

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser

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• (407): View more from Florida

  HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".

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• (510): View more from California

  yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels

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• (235): View more from

  if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?

  (366): View more from

  except your soul

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere

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• (407): View more from Florida

  We can't do acid Disneyworld.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.

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