Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
