Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
