it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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