Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
