I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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