I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
