I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
