I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
