They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
