my room smells like sperm. sweet.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Two words: blizzard sex
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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