Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize