Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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