it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
