you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
