i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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