Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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