I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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