dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
