You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
