I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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