I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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