He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
