god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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