There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
