??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
