I am puke
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
