I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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