anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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