let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
