If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
