ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
