"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Randomize
