brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
