I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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