I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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