why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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