I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
