just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize