i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We had to coat check the pizza.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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