they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
