O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
