I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
