these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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