Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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