ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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