"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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