your parents love me but you hate me
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
