I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
