I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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