Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
