It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
