Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
