Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
