have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
