no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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