i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
