no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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